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[ mood | excited ]


2) Be a bigger BITCH to people I don't like! (Can't wait to keep this one...oh wait I already am


3) I'm a lush, so..... DRINK 'TIL MY LIVER ESPLODESS~!!!!!!

4) Be more beautiful than EVAR!

5) Drop at least 15 friends, who needs y'all!


and finally

7) Be an X-BOX HUGE slut!

So many to keep....but I'm sure with enough of a stuck up attitude I can do it!! XD

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School, Costumes and D*C... [8.26.08 - 8.32am]
[ mood | good ]

So tired and busy this week. D:

School started yesterday. I've been so consumed by working on costumes I honestly didn't think about classes starting until Sunday night. My first class was at UNT at 6pm-9pm. There was a quiz and we had to write an essay. Awesome for the first day! Today I have my art classes at TCC, and then tomorrow it's back to UNT. Looking forward to seeing what the art classes are about.

This past Friday I received some good news about school. It was to let me know I was chosen for a scholarship I had applied for a little while back. I had submitted my portfolio of work for it and I guess they must've liked what they saw. I was pretty shocked when I got the phone call because I had pretty much pushed it out of my mind. Yay for getting some help paying for school!

As far as my costumes, I still have a lot of work left on them. Mostly it's just finishing up props and putting the final touches on the costumes. I only have a little time today and tomorrow to work though because I leave for Dragon*Con tomorrow night. I'll be taking Cain from Trinity Blood and steampunk/Victorian outfits for myself, mom, brother and Calvin. Should be getting into Atlanta sometime in the afternoon on Thursday. EVeryone in my group wants to go to the Aquarium, and I know there's some other folks going, so looks like that's gonna be the plan for Thursday. I'll be staying at the Hyatt this time. If anyone wants to get together and hangout at the con just call me or send me a text.

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Ready for things to get started... [7.26.08 - 11.26am]
[ mood | anxious ]

I've gotten most everything figured out for school this semester. Talked to an advisor and she helped me out.

This semester I'll be taking the art classes I need at TCC, and two classes at UNT so I can have concurrent enrollment. This way I'll be a student at UNT and still stay on track for the degree plan.

I'm staying in Arlington for this semester, and will be driving to Denton for the classes (my wallet is giddy over this.XD) In December I'll make the move up to Denton full-time.

Here's to anticipating things go well. =\

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Bummed and let down... [7.14.08 - 2.33pm]
Well shit.

Since I applied so late to UNT looks like all the art classes I need to get into the fashion program are full. I'm going to speak to an advisor tomorrow, but yeah I'm betting I'm screwed.

I checked with UTA and the classes I need are still open (early class times T_T), so it's now looking like I'll go there this semester and then transfer to UNT for the spring.

*head desk*
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Finding direction in life... [7.8.08 - 5.44pm]
[ mood | good ]

As some of you may know I've been planning to move to Florida with Crystal. Things were looking good, we were making plans and I was anxious about going out there for school. Things started to head south for me the more I looked into schooling. I'd like to be a costume designer, and we had heard UCF had a costume degree program. So our original plan was to go to a technical school for a year to avoid out of state tuition, and then transfer to UCF. Come to find out, UCF doesn't offer a costume design degree. In fact, most schools don't offer it as a bachelors, but only offer it as a masters. That bummed me out. I don't really have that much of an interest in the fashion industry, but there is still so much I'd like to learn about making clothes. I figured what the hell, so the plan changed to us just staying at the technical school for a fashion design degree.

While filling out the application I found out the tech school would cost a hell of a lot more than getting a degree at a normal college. Fuck that. Even though I was really looking forward to moving, and I had made all these plans with Crystal (which I feel horrible about for breaking) I decided for me it would be better if I stayed in Texas and go back to school here.

I went ahead and applied at UNT and was accepted. If all goes well I should be starting there this fall. It's been so long since I was in college ('02), and I'm a bit nervous. This'll also mean I'll be moving up to Denton. I haven't given any thought to where I'll live or work yet. I'm really not looking forward to having to do that honestly. We shall see how things go.

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[7.3.08 - 4.38pm]
How to make a rabidfanboy

3 parts pride

5 parts silliness

5 parts empathy
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of caring
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Survey taken from Sarah... [6.19.08 - 8.00pm]
[ mood | good ]

You know how sometimes people on your friend's list post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you *should* already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy mine below, erase my answers putting yours in their place then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration! One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out.

1. First name: Gordon. My siblings and I had our first and middle names named after Scottish clans.

2. Age: 25. I turn 26 next month and am a Cancer.

3. Location: Arlington, TX. Hopefully this will be changing soon. I've grown very unhappy living in the metroplex. As unhappy as I am though, I can't seem to find a place where I think I would be. =\

4. Hometown: Arlington, TX

5. Occupation: I don't really have an occupation. I do what I need to pay bills, but what I do is not a conventional job. I never really had a clear idea of what I wanted to do growing up. While in college the general decision was to major in political science and become a lawyer. After talking to several people who went that route they advised me against it. Seems most lawyers are miserable people who hate their jobs. I left school after three years (and changing majors several times) not having a clue what I wanted to be. Since then though I've found something I really enjoy doing, and I'm hoping I can turn into a career for myself.

6. Partner: *le sigh* Perpetually single it seems.

7. Kids: I used to want a son, but as I'm getting older the desire to have kids is fading.

8. Brothers/Sisters: One brother and two sisters. I was also supposed to have a twin sister, but unfortunately she died before birth.

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life: Trying to find direction and a path to take in life. For the past several years I've been severely lacking focus. I've been thinking of going back to school for costume design. I've been looking into some schools and am leaning a bit to UCF. Only problem I have with going there though is having to wait a year to establish residency. Other than that costuming and cosplay has pretty much become my biggest interest and hobby.

10. Parents: Alan was my father. He passed away a couple years ago from cancer. He was probably the smartest man I've ever met in my life. We would sit for hours discussing politics and world history. My mother would be Sharon. I'm pretty much a mommma's boy and will always be one. My parents met while they were both Dallas police officers. My dad hounded my mother until she accepted his proposal. It wasn't either of their first marriage, but the two were together for 20+ years.

11. Who are some of your closest friends?: My closest friend I've ever had is in prison and has been for several years. He was probably the only person who could actually read me and totaly understand what I was feeling. He's set to be released next year and it will be interesting to see if we still will have a close friendship. After falling out with another friend I put walls up around myself and stopped letting people get close. So basically the people who are my closest friends right now I still keep at arms length from me.

12. Do you drink/smoke?: I used to smoke. Quit several years ago though. Don't ever plan on doing it again. I drink. I'm kidded (hopefully) that I'm an alcoholic, but I really only drink at cons or social settings.

13. Tattoos/Piercings: I have one piercing in my right ear, three in my left, tongue is pierced and both nipples. My right nipple has been pierced three times because the first two times I didn't like the placement. I've wanted to get a PA for years, but haven't because I've heard most guys have to sit down to pee after getting it done. As far as tattoos, I have some I would like to get done, but I keep getting talked out of getting them every time I go.

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Costume musings... [6.5.08 - 7.04pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

I think I'm going to stop cosplaying outfits that aren't completely finished. The last three outfits I've done (steampunk, Cain and Rose of Versailles) have all been incomplete. Not to mention I have several costumes that halfway through I basically quit working on.

I'm just so tired of doing half-assed work and procrastinating. After seeing pictures of my steampunk stuff from A-kon (which I dubbed "Victorian Adventurers" since it's lacking) I'm just disappointed in myself. Running out of time to make the props really hurt the overall costumes. I have a lot of work to do on them before D*C. I have to make all the props I had planned out, make a new coat for myself and remake the bodice and bustle on my mom's gown. Even though I really like the train on her bustle, it ended up being too much of a hassle with her having to carry it around the con. D*C is massive compared to A-kon, so definitely don't need any added hassle.

I wanted to take Cain with me to A-kon, but I ended up breaking some things on it and (thanks to my procrastination) didn't get around to fixing them. I absolutely have to get that fixed and finished sometime this month. I've decided I'm going to redo a lot on the costume as well. I'm just not happy with the way some things came out like the wig and wings. Once finished I would love to do a photo shoot in it, but don't really know anyone in the area who could take pictures. =\

As far as new costumes go for D*C, I plan on doing Flash (Barry Allen). Calvin will have his Kid Flash and Doug said he'd do the Jay Garret version. That should be fairly easy to do. I'd also like to do a couple more superheroes if i have the time. Possibly Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) and Deadpool. We'll see on those. I was throwing around the idea of doing another Soul Calibur costume, possibly to do with Yaya. Hopefully I'll have the time for that.

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Damn you... [5.2.08 - 11.21am]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Why do the pattern companies always do this to me? I spend hours drafting and refitting patterns for my costumes, and after they're made I find a commercial pattern or one is released that would've worked perfectly. It happened with the Marie Antoinette and Le Chevalier D'eon gowns I made. A commercial pattern for both the panniers and the gown came out after I made mine. Now it's happened with steampunk. I just found a coat pattern that looks pretty decent and would have saved me a bunch of time.

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A-kon Update... [5.1.08 - 6.39pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Due to real life situations and events pretty much all of my cosplay plans have now completely fallen through for A-kon. I'm pretty depressed about it, but trying not to let it bring me down too much.

My big steampunk group has gone from five people to probably just me now. It really sucks because most of the planning, effort and detail was going into my sister's outfit I was making. Without her mine is just kinda blah and boring. I'm quite unsatisfied with how certain pieces of my outfit have turned out. I don't really care for the coat I made, and because I didn't do a mockup first my vest is a little shorter than I would've liked. None of my props are made either. I was gonna hold off on them until D*C because I was all "our big group will be good enough until then." Yeah...it just being me kinda screws that train of thought now.

I probably won't be entering the contest either. When my oldest sister backed out last month that threw our plans into chaos. We were trying to come up with something new, but now that my other sister likely won't be going to A-kon either it pretty much just throws everything out the window. Unless a miracle happens (e.g. my working non stop) I won't be entering anything new. T_T

As far as cosplay plans go all I can really guarantee that I'll have now is Cervantes for the video game record thing. I might take Cain, but that's dependent on if I fix some things that I broke on the costume. I'm really not sure if I'll take my steampunk. Without my sister I just don't know if I want to do it.

*le sigh*

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Quiz [4.18.08 - 6.36pm]
[ mood | good ]

Quiz taken from Crystal

My Personality

Openness to Experience
You do not feel nervous in social situations, and have a good impression of what others think of you, however you feel strong cravings and urges that you have difficulty resisting. You tend to prefer short-term pleasures and rewards over long-term consequences. You are an active group participant but usually prefer to let someone else be the group leader. You tend not to express your emotions openly and are sometimes not even aware of your own feelings. You are willing to take credit for good things that you do but you don't often talk yourself up much, however you are not affected strongly by human suffering, priding yourself on making objective judgments based on reason. You are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy. You are well-organized and like to live according to routines and schedules. Often you will keep lists and make plans.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report.

The best Buying Pet Gifts.

Hmmm...there's really only one thing I totally don't agree with.
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New Corset... [4.10.08 - 10.21pm]
[ mood | good ]

I made another corset for my sister. I freakin' love this one! She wasn't too thrilled with the other one I made, so she went and picked out some fabric herself for this new one (the other fabric was just some I had left over.) In the end her fabric choice worked out amazingly.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

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A-kon musings... [3.31.08 - 8.17pm]
[ mood | blah ]

A lot of my cosplay plans for A-kon seem to be falling through the cracks. I had a lot scheduled, but I just don't see the likely hood of them all coming to fruition in the next two months.

One of my big group costumes, and one I've been looking forward to doing for the past year, is steampunk. Right now it's become my top priority, and because of that I don't think other projects will be finished. There should hopefully be five of us in the group. Currently two people have their costumes finished. I'm slowly starting work on my sister and mines costumes now, so hopefully we'll at least have four people in the group. I'm not sure if the fifth person is going to get theirs done though.

So it might end up that the only new and "big" costumes I have at A-kon will be steampunk. It'll be epic steampunk dammit, but that might be it. T_T

If I hopefully get back in shape I'll finally debut my Baptistin costume here in Texas (so far it's only been worn to out of state cons.) Cain may or may not be coming. Not sure if I'll bring anymore of my old costumes though.

Blah...I really hate that things are getting so screwed up for me cosplay-wise right now. At least as far as A-kon is concerned. Plans for Metrocon and D*C still look promising.

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Need to find motivation... [3.28.08 - 5.49pm]
[ mood | good ]

Since making Cain I haven't really worked on any new costumes for myself. I have some that I'm wanting to do for A-kon, but I've yet to start on them. Here's a couple things that I have worked on though.

I made this corset this week for my sister. Simple Victorian design with a closed front. I flossed the ends of the boning channels, but since I used white thread it's not very visible. The shape in the pic is a little akward since the dummy is a pillow.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

This dress was a commission I made for someone. The character is Queen Marie from Le Chevalier D'eon.

Reference picture

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

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Tiny breasts are tiny... [2.17.08 - 5.49pm]
[ mood | good ]

So right now I'm watching the dub of The Slayers, and yeah...I forgot how bad the voice acting was XD.

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OMG BECKY.... [2.16.08 - 12.16am]
[ mood | lazy ]

OMG!!!!! I've gained a sizable amount of weight over the last several months. XDDDD

Yeah yeah every winter I normally gain an extra pound or two, but this winter I just let myself go lol.

Let's just say this boy is gonna be busting his ass to get back in shape and then some.

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Seven things about me meme... [1.24.08 - 1.53pm]
A. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself
B. Tag seven people to do the same
C. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it"


1. I talk to and carry on conversations with my cat daily.

2. I don't like to wear shoes while using the foot pad on my sewing machines. For some reason I just don't feel like I have very good control over how much pressure I'm using on it if I'm wearing shoes.

3. I overeat...A LOT. There's never a time when I'm not hungry. For meals I typically have 2-3 helpings and my serving sizes are ridiculoulsy big.

4. I dislike most of the moles and freckles on my body. When I'm through with all my electrolysis and laser hair removal I plan on having a big percentage of them removed as well.

5. Being lazy is my biggest fault (in my eyes.) I have gotten were I procrastinate to the point of waiting until the last minute before starting and/or finishing projects.

6. Phones scare me XD. I seriously have a phobia about talking on the phone. I love to text message, but talking...blah. Once I'm friends with a person and feel comfortable with them it's not so bad. I don't worry about my akward moments of silence that much anymore, but I still feel nervous answering their calls.

7. I've become addicted to an online game recently lol. (Thank you Lauren >.<)

I'm sure most of the people I'll tag have already been tagged:
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^_^ [1.11.08 - 10.03pm]
I thought today was going to be a lousy day, but it ended up being really great! Yay for having an awesome day!
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Tonight was Super Awesome! [1.6.08 - 12.59am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

I went to S4 and met up with Mark and Kim. We were having a really good time and decided to catch the show that was on. We were making our way through the crowd to a spot where we could see the show. As we got to the spot this group of women forced their way between me, Mark and Kim. I stayed behind the women for a while and Kim asked them if they wanted to move through. They said no. After that Kim grabbed my arm to pull me through and told the women she wanted her friend to join the two of them. I got past them and joined Mark and Kim. We were standing around for a while enjoying things and all the time I could feel the women pushing up behind me shoving her drink in my back. I had a feeling something was gonna happen.

A good song came on and we all started dancing. After I was done dancing I could hear the woman behind me talking shit. I turned around and said to her, "I'm sorry, but what is the problem?" She started berating me, calling me names and claiming my dancing caused her to spill her drink on herself. Of course the drink she was holding was completely full. I said, "I didn't do anything, I'm sorry, what is the problem?" At this point the bitch standing next to her dumps her drink on my ass. I turn around and shove her now empty glass of ice on her. The bitch who had been berating me throws her drink on me, slaps me as hard as she could and ducks behind her boyfriend who is spilling his beer on top of my head. They start yelling at me, the two boyfriends telling me to go outside (to beat me up of course), and all the women telling me to shut up, that I threw my drink on them (funny cause I hadn't had a drink yet) and that I needed to apologize. I told the guys I wasn't going anywhere with them. Told the women they threw the first drink on me. Whatever though, they didn't want to hear it. Of course one of the boyfriends worked there (funny...I thought we were at a gay club.)

I found a waitress and demanded to have security brought up there. Security comes and asks me to stand in a corner. They take the group of people out on the balcony, and then ask me to come out and stand on the other side. Mark, Kim and I are standing out there when a male security guard walks over, grabs me by the arm and tells me I'm leaving and he's not listening to me. He starts to walk me down the stairs and I'm shocked. I ask why he's not gonna hear my side, but he tells me it's over I'm leaving. A woman security guard runs up and says no, they are going to listen to both sides. They kind of argue, but I'm "allowed" to say what happened. While I'm telling the guy he doesn't really care and tells me of course the stories differ. I say of course they do because I haven't been drinking and all of those people had been. The guy really didn't care until I brought up the fact I was physically assaulted. The woman security guard was shocked, and the guys attitude changed slightly. They asked who it was and I told them and they went and talked to them.

The guy walks back over and says nobody is going to leave, but we need to keep our distance from each other. That he wants everybody to have a good time. I start to object and every time I try and say anything he talks over me very rudely. I'm fucking pissed. Without even hearing my side they were ready to escort me out. This bitch physically assaulted me and they do nothing. Keep in mind, this is a gay club. I am a gay patron and these were straight couples.

I ended up leaving. Told Mark and Kim I was really sorry for ruining their night and getting them involved in that. I hope they were able to have a good time, but I just couldn't stay out. It's not just the fact I had drinks poured on me (because I've had drinks thrown on me before), was assualted and threatened, but it was also the things the woman said to me.

The other night I had an argument with a friend which was started when it was said that I have a problem with everyone. I try to think that I'm a friendly person, and that most, not all, but most people like me. I realize I can be a bit much and I have a very aggresive personaltiy. After tonight though I really wonder if it is me that causes these things to happen. I mean normal people don't get drinks thrown at them and get into fights when they go out.

Great way to start the new year. Another negative fucking post. I swear I'll have somthing positive to talk about soon.

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whatever [12.30.07 - 5.53am]
god i wish i had someone i could talk to
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